Pirates of the Sandbox
by Aquarian Wolf
Summary: The Kraken's on one side of the ship, and there's a whirlpool on the other! Cannibals are climbing up on deck! And there's an angry goddess on their trail! How will the crew of the Black Pearl survive?


A/N: The _Pirates of the Caribbean _characters belong to Disney. This little silly story is mine. It's something I wrote in creative writing class today and thought it'd be fun to share. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to Chibi of Many Names for the title and other editing help!

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Pirates of the Sandbox

"Avast, ye harties! Get ta starboard!" Grabbing the helm tightly, the lead swashbuckler spun the wheel hard to the left as waves crashed into the vessel, threatening to capsize it at any given second. Shaking his head, he threw beads of saltwater from his wiry beard. "That whirlpool is no laughin' matter, ya scurvy dogs!"

Dashing forward, a young man, his blond hair matted and plastered against his scalp, spat out a mouthful of rain and seawater. "It's no use!" he panted, exhausted, his eyebrows dripping. "We're done for, captain!"

Quick as a viper, the captain drew his sword and stopped it just under the man's chin. "There be no givin' up in my crew! Unless you want to chuck yourself overboard to lighten the load, I suggest ya get back ta work!"

"Captain!" This voice came from high above, up in the crow's nest. Knuckles white, their lookout clung tightly to the wooden edge with one hand and held a short telescope in the other. "Barbossa!" she barked, her high voice hardly heard above the gale. "There's tentacles reaching up, hardly half a mile away! It's the kraken!"

"Can this day get any worse?!" the captain moaned. Louder, he called back, "Good work, Miss Swan! Now get down here and man—er, woman the cannons!"

"Aye, aye, sir!" she saluted before scrambling down.

"Uh, I should go help Miss Swan b'low deck!" the young man jerked his thumb back. Before he could run off, the captain snatched his shirt collar and yanked him back.

"You'll do no such thing, Mister Turner! We need you to help fight off…off…" He trailed a moment before finally blurting out as fast as he could, "The hoard of bloodthirsty cannibals that just climbed on board!" Pointing, he showed him the group of tan-skinned islanders, covered in war paint, which seemed to materialize out of nowhere. Jewelry made of bones jutted out from their earlobes and were displayed under their nostrils. Their perfectly white teeth were sharpened to fine points, each one like a shark's fang.

"Aww!" Turner whined. "I hate cannibals!" Unsheathing his sword, he demanded, "Where's Jack? He should have been here by now!"

Suddenly, swinging in from a rope of unknown origin, a lanky figure spun in. Letting go, he did a somersault in the air before landing down at Captain Barbossa's feet. Standing rather unsteadily, he swayed a moment before he bowed, taking off his tricorner hat with flourish. "Sorry, mate," he slurred, grinning. "I just can't resist a great entrance!"

"Yeah, well, thanks to your great entrance, we're just about to be cannibal chow!" Turner snapped, poking Jack's chest. "And we've got a kraken heading our way, and there's a giant whirlpool!"

"Shut up, eunuch!" Jack spat back, shoving him.

"Don't call me eunuch, you—you—butthead!"

"Eunuch, eunuch, eunuch!" Jack chanted.

"You don't even know what that means!"

"I know what you are, but what am I?"

Throwing down his sword, Turner cried, "I don't want to be Will! Why can't I be Jack for once? Or Norrington?"

"Because we need a Will Turner!" Barbossa reasoned. "You can't play 'Pirates of the Carry-Beans' without Will!"

"Well, then why can't Jessie be Will?"

"'Cause I'm a girl!" she shouted back, joining the group again. "'Sides, I always play the best 'Liz'beth!"

Suddenly, a towering figure loomed over them, grabbing the Black Pearl in her huge hands and bringing the massive ship to a stop.

"It's the goddess Calypso!" screamed Jack.

"All right you four." The squeaky playground carousel came to a halt. "Joshua, we have to go. I've got to pick up your brother from band practice."

"Aww, mom!" 'Jack' whined. "Just five more minutes? Please?" he pleaded, hands clasped.

"Sorry, buddy, not today. We're already running late." Taking his hand, she led the protesting pirate to a waiting minivan.

"But mom, can't ya just leave Tommy behind? He needs ta get all the practice he can! His guitarplayin' sounds like a dyin' cat!"

The remaining trio stood silently for a moment, blinking occasionally, and wondering what to do now that Jack had made an exit as grand as his entrance.

The sea was calling them…

Turning, Barbossa once again faced the malicious cannibals. Calling back to his two-man crew, he declared, "Aye, we be on our own now, lads!"

"Hey!"

"And lass!" Raising his sword high, he bellowed, "AVAST!" And then they ran into the fray.


End file.
